BLAIR, Captain Hamish

The Bloody Orkneys

This bloody town's a bloody cuss

No bloody trains, no bloody bus,

And no one cares for bloody us

In bloody Orkney.

The bloody roads are bloody bad,

The bloody folks are bloody mad,

They'd make the brightest bloody sad,

In bloody Orkney.

All bloody clouds, and bloody rains,

No bloody kerbs, no bloody drains,

The Council's got no bloody brains,

In bloody Orkney.

Everything's so bloody dear,

A bloody bob, for bloody beer,

And is it good? -- no bloody fear,

In bloody Orkney.

The bloody 'flicks' are bloody old,

The bloody seats are bloody cold,

You can't get in for bloody gold

In bloody Orkney.

The bloody dances make you smile,

The bloody band is bloody vile,

It only cramps your bloody style,

In bloody Orkney.

No bloody sport, no bloody games,

No bloody fun, the bloody dames

Won't even give their bloody names

In bloody Orkney.

Best bloody place is bloody bed,

With bloody ice on bloody head,

You might as well be bloody dead,

In bloody Orkney.

There's nothing greets your bloody eye

But bloody sea and bloody sky,

'Roll on demob!' we bloody cry

In bloody Orkney.